Getting married was a chance for ``a family moment,'' she said.
``I really think that my family deserved to be there and that I
deserved to have my family.''
Although modern brides are sometimes caricatured as selfish ``bridezillas,''
there are many who believe that weddings are about celebrating
family and community rather than simply being the belle of the
ball.
It's an idea that is both traditional and, in some cases,
trendy. For Galicia, who moved here from Guatemala, giving
extended family a voice in the wedding has roots in her home
country and culture. Other couples come to the same conclusion
for personal, as opposed to traditional, reasons. They might
hope to turn the focus of the day toward a cause or charity, or
reach out to relatives, even including them on the honeymoon.
``There are so many ways for brides to involve their families or
communities in their wedding day,'' said Karry Castillo,
a Central Florida wedding planner. ``We really encourage our
clients to think outside the traditional wedding box.''
One couple with whom Castillo worked invited guests to go with
them on a post-wedding Caribbean cruise. Another client, an avid
runner, invited friends to take part in a charity run leading up
to her wedding day.
The stress of planning a wedding can easily bring out primadonna
behavior, Castillo said; sharing or doling out responsibilities
to friends and family can help, emotionally and also
financially.
One Mexican-American community in Los Angeles, for example,
keeps alive a longstanding Mexican tradition by pitching in to
cover wedding costs.
Acting as “padrino” or ``madrina”—Spanish for
godfather and godmother, or sponsor—family or friends take on a
range of responsibilities, providing and paying for parts of the
festivities including food, photos and the couple's clothing,
said Araceli Ulloa, 19, of Los Angeles, whose family
often helps couples in such ways.
The custom, which also applies to other big events, can take
different forms depending on the people involved, Ulloa said. In
one case, a bride or groom's family may ask close friends or
relatives for help. In another, people offer first.
Either way, the idea is that communities pool resources to help
out when friends or family need it most. Being asked to be a
sponsor is considered an honor.
``It's with people that you feel close to and comfortable,''
Ulloa said.
``It makes me feel special. I know I will be able to count on
them, and they know that I will be there for them anytime.''
For Tami Mount, of Larchmont, N.Y., being included in her
cousin's North Carolina post-wedding weekend felt special too.
The cousins grew up sharing vacations on the Outer Banks, so
Mount's cousin and his bride asked the extended family to stay
with them for a weekend at the beach after their wedding.
Rekindling those family beach vacations—with a new member to
boot—gave special meaning to the wedding for Mount.
``We were honored and thrilled to get called back to our
playground for a week together,'' said Mount, whose husband and
daughter also joined.
``Our parents still got the best rooms in the house, but at
least the newlyweds didn't have to sleep in bunk beds,'' she
said. ``They didn't care that we brought along our babies—it was
the making of new memories to mix with the old that they
wanted.'' |
